Baphomet Politics

That time I sat in for 8 hours on a tax audit. It was a tiny room with 1 small square table and 3 seats. IRS agents come in, flash a badge (like FBI) and they ask me if I want an attorney.

That was my situation on this day. The room was ridiculously small. I mean, if you wanted to make a break for it, good luck! You would have to step back a little just to allow the door to swing open enough to get out. The agents were within arms reach from grabbing you. Okay, maybe an arm's length and one step.

Imagine being told if I would like an attorney present. I was like, am I under arrest?

One would think, they'd give you a straight answer. They DID NOT. I had to ask, what happens if I DO want one? All they would say is well, this interview doesn't proceed. And I was thinking, "Then what? Handcuffs?"

The silence was deafening! These two looked like the agents from X-Files, only real and creepy. I could not get any straight answers. All they would stick to is that they need to ask me some questions and go over the audit, in full detail. Taxes going back about 5 years worth.

This whole thing didn't start out this way, however. I am going to start from the beginning. I walked into the building and they said they wanted to call me in to do an audit. I was thinking, oh, this must be something that was done on my tax returns. Maybe a big error or mistake. What's the big deal, right? After all, I had a former accountant from American Express do my taxes.

Well, I am going to spare the details on how I met him and how we did business together and what led up to this audit. However, I was thinking, that there was probably a big mistake on my return and I probably needed to explain a few things. And of course, I am not a tax expert so I would have to oblige by whatever findings they have against me and just work it out and move forward. At this point, I am thinking I'll be here 15 minutes or so. Well, to my surprise, the lady doing the audit placed me in this tiny room for a 1 on 1 session for what felt like an hour or two. I mean, she really dug deep and way past the 5 year mark I mentioned. It was more like 8 but she said something along the lines of going back only this far is good enough to start.

At that time, I was like oh my goodness, NO~! I said, I am not a lawyer but my understanding is that you cannot go back further than 2-3 years. I believe we then started at around 2 years but I could be wrong, it may have been 3.

It was insanely detailed and I had to really explain how I operated and what every line that they questioned was about. In the end, there was some errors that were made and some things I honestly could not explain away. I had to put this on my tax preparer. I informed them this is the reason people go to these people because the tax laws and codes are not easily understood. I know better than to try to file my own taxes and since I was young and doing alot of business on the side (aside from my job) I went to someone I trusted that can do the job.

At the end of the audit, I was thinking, okay, now that this is over, I am going to expect a tax bill and put all this behind me. Instead, she says to me, I am going to step out and there are some people that want to talk to you. I was not expecting agents to come in, like FBI. IRONICALLY, you guys wouldn't believe me if I told you this, ready? For reading this far, I think I will make this worth having read this for this far down, these IRS agents, literally wear a GREEN SUIT! LOL Yes, think FBI agents in black, this guys wear an olive green suit and I am NOT joking! It was almost comical considering they're job is to follow the money, right?

Anyway, they come in and they start asking if I would like an attorney. I started asking questions right back! And I recommend people do that too. Don't be afraid to question anything, especially in situations like this. I was thinking I may not walk out of this building. They do feel intimidating when they tell you they want to ask questions. I knew this was going to be a long day. I was not allowed to leave at any time. In fact, I think this whole thing was actually 10 hours total. I remember going in around 10am and walking out by 8pm. Starving to death!

They asked me questions that felt like I could be taken into handcuffs if I answered the wrong way. I kept insisting that I would need to ask questions right back if I do not understand their questioning. One valuable, thing I learned that day, was "I DO NOT UNDERSTAND and I DO NOT REMEMBER" I caught on very early in their interrogation that this is one way to answer a question without being punished for not participating in the investigation and not acknowledging any wrong doing. I mean, they were asking about things that happened 2-3 years ago and I kept saying, "I don't even know what the weather was like that day, and that's a whole day, let alone a thing I did in a moment that same day". SO I answered everything and if I didn't understand, I would ask endless questions that led to nowhere getting any straight answers. So if I couldn't get a straight answer, I would finally say, "look, I want to answer your question but I just don't understand what you are trying to get at" and if they persisted, I would say "Fine, I don't understand your question and I cannot remember anything about what you are asking about". It's not exactly "taking the 5th" either. And again, I didn't get any counseling on this nor do I know my way around situations like this. However, I was interrogated once by NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service) years before and well, this felt similar only a little longer.

In the end, I was let go and to say the least, I never saw a tax refund again for a few years afterwards. I guess that's the price of freedom, right? LOL. On a serious note, just wanted to drop a little story about my hidden life. The type of thing I never shared on social media before. That sort of thing is behind me now. I used CPA's since then and I verify that they are legitimate. And that is all I am going to say about that.